15 March 2011

beauty in the world

not to beat a dead horse here or anything but today's headlines for the grand city of houston are as follows:

"conroe baby dead; parents arrested"
"homeowner shot, killed during home invasion"
"burglary suspect, 17, shot to death"
"escaped texas inmate caught in omaha"
"homeowner shoots, kills, burglary suspect"
"boy, 15, killed on apartment stairs"

see for yourself at click2houston.com.

it's safe to say i'm ready to relax and not worry that the man sitting on the park bench is thinking about where i live, or that the police sirens are rushing to the sketchy apartments on the next block.  of course, i'm not oblivious to the fact that violence is everywhere, nor have i slipped into the greener grass on the other side mentality.  there is literally only so much of this city that i can take.  and i may have reached my limit. 

my wise husband has made the observation that houston is a working city. people don't move here for the great skyline, and they don't typically move here with no job promise and no family/friend ties.  denver attracts the trendy, environmentally inclined young adult while fort myers or phoenix the sunny-weather 50+ crowd.  seattle/portland draws west coast, fresh air 'hippies' while even washington dc brings those hoping for a chance to be a part of something larger than life.  houston?  work.  that's why houston has made the top of survey lists such as "10 best working cities", "top 20 sickest cities", "america's crankiest people", "a crime a dozen" (i actually just made that last one up, but it's good, right??) 

there are parts of houston we'll miss.  it may just be part of moving on and leaving that i get nostalgic about a place i may have hesitated to call home.  it happened as i moved from minnesota to colorado and back again.  and it happened when i moved here to houston.  however, i've been given the chance to pick up my skirts, shuffle my feet and tread lightly to the great unknown.  it may as well be on my driver's license right next to brown hair, blue eyes: restless spirit.  i pushed aside every itching bone in my body that wanted me to drop out of college, live in every major city (and any endearing small town) until my thirst was finally quenched.  thankfully, i dun got me some education and found myself hitched to a gentleman who will whisk me away every few years for the service of our country. 

while packing dreams in boxes is downright intimidating, there's something about it that makes my heart beat a little quicker, my palms get a tad clammy and my legs restless.  maybe it's because i know, and have seen, beauty in the small things.  maybe not in the hundreds of dead june bugs outside every door this week, but beauty in new adventures and new gardens.  main streets, city halls, town newspapers, shopping malls, neighborhood parks.  the beauty God created is meant to be explored, shared, and enjoyed.  i am so thankful i get to do just that. 

i've always been a closet macy gray fan.  she sings such an amazing song about the change and beauty in the world that i just have to prod you to watch it. 

Change is gonna come
Like the weather
They say forever
They say
When they're in between
Notice the blue skies
Notice the butterflies

moving up, on, and away isn't always accompained with awesome feelings of euphoria.  there will always be things and people we'll be missing out on.  holidays, birthdays, moments.  while i prefer to stay on top of the moving ball, it is most unsettling when people we've left choose to move on as well.  so when we go back, things aren't the same.  a selfish irony but i can't help it, nor can i blame them. 

we have little over a month here and plan on making the most of it.  i'd love to say i have a new hobby of biking around the park, but a hobby probably requires more than one day.  life happens so quickly when tomorrow is never promised.     

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