18 June 2010

one life one love

Tyler had some softball games this week and as I was sitting, alone, on the bleachers watching I had some time to think... There were many teams of men, some older and some younger, most had the camaraderie with each other that made it clear they were no strangers to each other. My mind wandered to lifestyles and what a career means to a family. One's life is built around a career. Think of the many different aspects a career affects a life. Vacation, family time, rules, the list could go on and on. We all realize that we have just one life to live. For just once in our lives, we'll be the wonderful age of 17. Or have a great opportunity to change directions. There is never a reverse button. At the end of the road, if you wonder what your life would have looked like if you ______, there's no going back. If you just got out of debt sooner, took that vacation before you had the five kids, or volunteered more time. A mere two years ago, I had just finished a whirlwind college career, was living at home and working to save money for a semester in Colorado (that turned into a year and a half)...I never thought that when I finally was ready and excited to find a life career, our country would be in such an awful recession. Or that I thought it necessary to try and make it on my own with literally nothing but the support of my parents. I saw the one life I had been given pass by with nothing to show for it. What a difference two years can make. Now, I can see ahead to the life I'm going to live. I know what to expect and at the same time have absolutely no idea. Tyler's career will define everything. There are many variables, and yet, not so many. There are many resources and countless people who are willing to lend their opinions and advice on how to be the best military family. I refuse to fall into the trap I found myself in before the wedding: reading as much material/talking with as many wise women as possible to prepare for anything and the most specific problems in marriage instead of focusing on the present and getting through each day. I believe in being prepared. But not to the point where it takes away from today. Tyler will never be a part of a lifetime softball league, or play on the same team for "years". The one life we have to live is set for us. We both signed up for it and we will choose to never regret that decision, but there is just an odd feeling knowing what your life will be like, completely vulnerable at the hands of our nation and our Lord. Different. Exciting. Hard. I feel like our time here in Houston is the eye of the storm. We'll soon be pushed out of the safety net. I can't wait. We all are given one life and I have chosen to live it with my one love, no matter what.

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